You’ve been running for how long now? Months? Years? And nobody has given you a nickname. Not one person has looked at you mid-run and said, “you know what, I’m going to start calling you Jrunk Miles.” Not your run club. Not your training partners.
Rude. F*ck them.
Thing is, you don’t need them. You never needed them. The most important runners in the world, the ones with the matching kits and the GPS stacks and the podcast about mental toughness didn’t wait around for a nickname. They gave themselves one. And look at them now. They have a Strava profile that reads like a Navy SEAL recruitment ad. They introduce themselves at races by their nickname. Their email signature has a predator emoji in it.
That could be you.
Think about the possibilities. You could name a podcast after your nickname. Something like “Running With [Your Nickname]: A Journey Into Pain and Purpose.” You could have it embroidered on a singlet. You could put it in your Hinge bio right between your half marathon time and the photo of you with your ex cropped out but you can still see her shoulder. You could introduce yourself as it at parties. At work. At shows. Have someone scream it in bed. The possibilites are limitless.
Best part is, nobody can stop you. There is no committee. There is no governing body for self-given running nicknames. This is a free country and you are a free person and if you want to be called THUNDER UNIT or PAVEMENT GHOST or THE LONE STRIDE then that is your constitutional right.
You put in your name. It tells you what your self-given running nickname would be. It also writes your bio for you, because if you’re going to commit to a nickname you might as well commit to the bit.
Don’t get it twisted, this a serious tool for serious runners. Don’t forget that. This is the same energy that goes into every single piece of mothtech. And the culture vulture content that takes itself way too seriously. This is maximum energy, minimum self-awareness, zero irony.
Use it. Share it. Put the result in your Instagram bio. Text it to your running group and start the revolution. The ones who don’t call you this are the ones who are too scared of nicknames.
Leggggs is a running zine for people who run and also have opinions about running culture that they can’t say out loud at group runs.
